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The need for man's approval


We’ve all been there….you’ve just typed up your opinion on a subject and you are about to hit “Post”. 

You pause for a moment, What will he think? What will she say? What will the masses pull from my comment? Will this inspire? Will it challenge? What if someone disagrees with me and I have to address it publicly? 

You hit the “POST” button.
Then you wait. . . . . . . 

You check your status every 15 minutes (especially if it’s a touchy subject and you have a following).

This happened to me recently. 

I made a post to bring awareness to a topic. 

Someone else made a post (within minutes) that seemed to be a nice correction of my viewpoint. I respect that person and I didn’t at all disagree with their statement. But, I felt they didn't fully get my point or they wouldn't have taken it "that way". 

The next ten minutes were spent with me re-reading my post, asking myself if I should have said something differently, did they misunderstand or not see something, should I message them privately.....

Then I stopped. 

Why does someone’s opinion of a subject, that they have no personal knowledge of, matter so much to me

Why do we do this? We post and then we wait on strangers or “friends” to approve our words. We find our instant gratification in a little blue thumb (or a little red heart for my Insta Friends). 

Seeking approval from others has it’s place but we have allowed it too much authority in our lives. We live and die on our social media standing. We decide how to decorate our house based on the latest Pinterest board. We set the bar for how perfect our family must look by the one who has an incredible photo sense with her iphone and takes perfect shots every time. We judge our everyday messes by other’s highlight reels. 

It’s like the woman who steps on the scale every single morning and allows it to tell her if she is worthy of loving herself today or if she is sentenced to a day of self loathing and feeling fat. 

It is out of balance and it doesn’t make sense. 

There is only ONE opinion that matters: God’s opinion. 

Am I worthy? What does God say?
Am I loved? What does God say?
Am I forgiven? What does God say?
Can I believe for more? What does God say?
How do I handle a bad day? What does God say?
Am I a good friend? What does God say?
Do I show love to my husband? What does God say?
Am I a good example as a mom? What does God say?

His opinion is the only one that matters. Seek Him. Trust Him.

The answers and approval you seek can only be found IN HIM.
In his word. In prayer. In worship. 

Seeking Him for approval will free you from the need for man’s approval.

I have had several breakthroughs in this area in the last 6 months. As a result, I feel a new freedom and empowerment to walk in my purpose in God in a more profound way.

A couple of things I have taken action on are:

1. I have turned off my notifications on my home screen. I no longer hear the ding and grab my phone every 5 minutes.

2. I will place my phone in another room if I need to completely disconnect. This has saved my brain space! It has helped me especially at night and first thing in the morning. When I leave my phone in the living room overnight I am not tempted to check my FB status updates or work emails. I can focus on my time with my husband, sleep, prayer, that lovely half awake moment early in the morning where you set your intention for the day….all without distraction!

3. I don’t seek “approval” from others before I do something that has been laid on my heart. If I feel led of the Lord, want to help others, and come from a place of good and not pride or greed; I move forward. I think I have used this one, in the past, as a loop hole to get out of things that scared me. I would ask around until enough people showed doubt that I would talk myself out of it. Stopping this one thing has moved me forward by years in a short period of time.

One final note, this may be the hardest thing to tackle. When you find yourself seeking the approval of others, take a second and STOP.

- God, how do you feel about this?
- Why does this person’s opinion matter?
- What am I seeking by “needing” this person’s approval? (validation, approval, love, acceptance)
- Why am I lacking in this area?  
If it’s validation I’m seeking, is it a source of pride in my heart? Am I just trying to prove I’m right? Is that necessary?

If it’s acceptance, why do I need to feel accepted by this person? What is lacking in our  relationship that I don’t feel accepted? Or I hardly know this person, why do I need a stranger’s acceptance for anything?

- If this one opinion were not there, would it change my life in any way?
- Is the way this person feels a deciding or important factor in my life or the big picture?
- Does this person have a vital role in my life?
- Does this person have a say in what choices our family makes?

These are tough questions, but I hope to have put some perspective on “man’s approval”. Of course, I am mainly talking about the approval of the masses out there on social media. Most of these people have no say in your everyday life. They don’t live in your house or pay your bills. Be mindful of how much input you allow a virtual stranger to have into your everyday life, to how you view yourself, how you love others, and how you determine your worth. You are a child of God. If you are straight with Him, seek Him with a tender heart, and listen to his gentle correction you will be just fine. (no matter what FB says)

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